So many women carry a quiet belief that they need to fix something before they are allowed to be seen.
Lose ten pounds.
Wait until their hair looks better.
Feel more confident.
Feel more comfortable in their body.
I hear this often. And each time, it makes me pause, not in judgment, but in tenderness.
Because what so many women are really saying is:
I’m not ready to be seen as I am. I am not enough as I am.
When Worth Feels Tied to Desirability
For many women, especially as we age, there’s a subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) grief that surfaces around desirability.
We live in a culture that tells us directly and indirectly, that our value is rooted in how desirable we are, how young we look, how closely we resemble a narrow version of beauty. When bodies change, when fertility ends, when weight shifts or faces soften, it can feel like something essential has been lost.
And with that loss can come a painful question:
Who am I if I’m no longer seen as desirable?
This question isn’t shallow. It’s deeply human.
Self-Acceptance Is Not an End State
One of the biggest misconceptions about self-love is that it’s something you arrive at.
That one day, you’ll wake up fully confident, fully accepting, fully at peace with your body — and then you’ll do the things you’ve been putting off.
But self-acceptance doesn’t work that way.
It’s not a destination.
It’s a practice.
It’s something you choose again and again — especially on the days when acceptance feels far away.
We can’t wait until we love ourselves to begin.
We begin, and love grows through the process.
Waiting for “Perfect” Is a Quiet Kind of Disappearance
Recently, a client messaged me to say she wanted to wait until she lost some weight and felt better about her hair before scheduling a session.
I understood her completely.
And still, I felt a deep sadness.
Because if we wait to be perfect before we celebrate who we are…
we may spend our lives waiting.
There will always be another reason to delay.
Another version of ourselves we think we need to become first.
And in that waiting, something precious is lost: presence.
Why Holding Space Matters
My work isn’t about posing women into something they’re not.
It’s about creating a space where they can soften — where they can arrive exactly as they are.
Before photography, I spent years teaching yoga. That experience deeply informs how I work. I understand how the nervous system responds to feeling watched, judged, or pressured. I know how important safety, pacing, and choice are when emotions are close to the surface.
A session with me is not about performing confidence.
It’s about being gently supported while you explore what self-compassion feels like in real time.
You don’t have to push anything away.
You don’t have to “get it right.”
You just have to be willing to meet yourself with kindness.
The Need to Control How We’re Seen
At our core, most of us want control over how we are perceived — or whether we are perceived at all.
That need makes sense.
Being seen can feel vulnerable.
Especially when we’ve learned to equate visibility with judgment.
But there is another way.
When we allow ourselves to be seen through a lens of compassion — rather than critique — something shifts. What emerges isn’t perfection. It’s presence, depth, and wisdom.
That is the beauty I care about.
That is what I photograph.
An Invitation, Not a Requirement
You don’t need to love your body.
You don’t need to feel confident.
You don’t need to feel “ready.”
You only need a willingness to take one small step toward yourself.
Self-acceptance grows through practice — through moments of choice, through experiences that remind you that you are already worthy of care and attention.
If this resonates, know that you are not alone.
And you don’t have to arrive anywhere before you begin.